Jan 112013

That title is probably going to take some explaining isn’t it…

As some of you will know, I spend a wee bit of time on the sub Reddit for RPGs. It’s a great way to get questions answered and come across some great little developments you might otherwise miss. A day or so back, I spotted a question based thread asking what the strangest sentence you’ve heard your players say was. I racked my brain for a while before remembering a certain game of Unhallowed Metropolis.

tumblr_m6a16nCEZP1qz7t0xo1_1280The plot was loosely inspired by something that I read on the back of a book. I never read the actual book, but I liked the idea, so I just figured out a way to make it work within the setting I was using at the time. The short story is a powerful and unhinged psychic wandering the city, infecting those close to him with a hate so powerful they are incapable of controlling it. This is a game world that has more than it’s fair share of horror, including creatures similar to that designed by Dr. Frankenstein, werewolves, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and of course Zombies.

For people reading this who are familiar with the game, I know that they’re usually referred to as animates, but the word Zombie is a bit better known, so I have paraphrased the original quote. So, while walking down the street a couple of player characters who were out on business of their own, and totally unaware of the devastating psychic miasma that they narrowly avoided, spotted something unusual to say the least.

A young mother with child in a perambulator stopped suddenly to attend to her young charge, who had become agitated and was making no small amount of noise. As the mother looked down at the infant, her face changed from compassion to rage, and I shall spare my readers the brutality of what followed. The young lady was eventually restrained, but not before more than one life was lost to her ferocity.

When the dust had settled, and the group regathered at HQ – a lovely little Gentleman’s club in the west end if I recall – they debated this strange occurrence, trying to discern a motive for the horrifying behavior of the young lady. An early suggestion was that she may have contracted the contagion that turned living people into living-dead people, and had succumbed to it most unexpectedly. This was quickly dismissed, as one of the characters pointed out: “It couldn’t have been an animate, animates don’t punch babies”.

You may now be asking yourselves why I have shared this with you? For one, it struck me as odd that that one comment has become the second highest rated thing I’ve put on Reddit – first place still belongs to the TPK blog for their sterling article on lone wolf players – considering its unmistakably savage nature.

Secondly, I was curious to what my readers would have answered to that very same question. So post below with your own strange but true things said at the table, and feel free to expound on the story as I have.

  2 Responses to ““…Zombies don’t punch babies’”

  1. The player is right. Zombies don’t punch babies, they just go straight to eating them :-)

  2. The most surprising thing I’ve heard said at my gaming table was during a Deadlands game. We were running the Independence Day scenario, which has a murder mystery for who was killing victims by gruesomely slicing their heads and limbs straight off. They had several suspects: a riled up southerner, a drunkard, a firebrand lady saying everyone was going to hell, a well-meaning man who’s had a sudden turn of fate, and perhaps a few others. The clues pointed to one of these suspects and I told the players that at that point in the game, they had everything they needed to know to figure it out.

    The players thought for a bit and then one of them had a lightbulb moment. “It was the undertaker!” he proudly proclaimed.

    I was shocked. They’d never met an undertaker in the scenario and none of the clues suggested it was the undertaker, but the player was convinced that the undertaker killed people in order to drum up sales. I was sorely tempted at that point to let them hang the undertaker and then let the real murderer get off scot free.

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